The Noteworthy Edit #5: desirability politics, fertility and what people really mean when they say "quiet luxury"
My week in links alongside lots of reflection - let's go!
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Sundays are always a reflective day for me, they should be a prep day for me but I often always feel behind. Behind on what I should’ve done last week and looking ahead to Monday wanting a head start on whatever life is about to throw in front of me.
Last week’s newsletter was on loneliness, and as always, your feedback is so warmly appreciated. I had a feeling it would resonate and was happy to hear from you, despite how disheartening it is to see so many of us in the same boat. If you’ve not yet read it, please do and let me know your thoughts! Your comments and DMs never go unnoticed.
The WGA and SAG-AFTRA strike has had a real impact on me, and as a result I will hold off reviewing productions listed under the strike list. It’s a difficult one as a film and TV lover and as a working creative, how easy it is to diminish and devalue not only workers but this incredible art that we are provided with.
📖 READING:
I’m back in the swing of things reading which has felt so good. I’ve always been a voracious reader but am easily distracted now, my attention span is dwindling. I finished Yellowface by Rebecca F. Kwang in about three days, I could’ve easily done it in two had I not been out in the evenings. I haven’t been so captivated by a story in a while and I am so glad I just dove straight in.
The novel is about an author who steals the manuscript of her dead author friend and chronicles her uncharted success following its publication. I don’t want to go into too much detail, there are definitely spoilers abound - it’s probably the most talked about book this summer, but believe the hype.
I logged back into my GoodReads for the first time since I was 18 or 19-years-old, I think. Seriously. When I say I’ve been on the Internet for a long time, I really mean it! I’m trying to keep on top of what I’m reading now so follow me there, it’s still a bit of a work in progress!
I’ve been looking into fertility MOTs (I suppose one of the many benefits of being a 35-year-old single woman) and this article in the i Paper came at just the right time. Having been married my expectations around having children were that it would just happen to me one day and now that that isn’t the case I’ve been curious about my fertility and what it would mean to even raise a child on my own one day should I want to do that. Naturally the cost of this is absolutely astronomical.
The interesting thing about the i Paper article is that fertility clinics used to be patronised by people who were already struggling to conceive and now more and more people just want to check that they’re okay. To me, this could only be a benefit in easing our anxieties and making informed choices. But as always, private clinics can capitalise on this fear and charge hundreds for consultations and fertility MOTs. And if you are a single person, that cost isn’t eased up at all. It’s frustrating that these services now also exist to fill a gap that your own doctors should be able to fill for you at a premium cost to the patient and how ultimately at this late in the game you have no choice.
🎧 LISTENING:
My good friend recommended an episode of a podcast called Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships which was all about desirability politics and dating preferences and how we learn about what is desirable to us, what we’re attracted to and what makes something a “preference.” They talk about race, gender expression, fatphobia and how the language of preferences gets in our way. Digging much deeper into why we like what we like and how important it is to be introspective.
It gave me a lot to think about my own dating life and history, even as someone who likes to believe they’re relatively open to dating and falling in love with “the person,” there is still work to be done there for myself.
Even the simple question of “why do I like what I like” in areas like fashion and beauty, for example, has made me pause for a moment to consider what exactly I’m trying to buy into. Am I still trying to make myself desirable, attractive, etc. Is that what’s important to me?
If you listen, please let me know what you think!
🎥 WATCHING:
I’m holding off on reviewing film and TV because of the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strike until a fair deal is reached. You can find more information on the WGA strike including updates and their list of demands here. You can also find more information on the SAG-AFTRA strike including updates and their list of demands here.
Donations are being accepted by the Entertainment Community Fund and the Emergency Financial Assistance and Disaster Relief Fund for workers who are in dire need of financial aid during this time.
You can also show your support on socials by using the hashtags #WGAStrong and #WGAStrike and #SAGAFTRAstrike and #SAGAFTRAstrong.
👗 WEARING:
I don’t know what is going on with me, but I do feel my style evolving. I don’t think that I would ever shy away from colour completely but as I said in my last Noteworthy Edit newsletter, I find myself getting excited for autumn/winter fashion and I’m being drawn to a lot of blacks, white and cream.
Right now I am firmly in my waistcoat era! They’re just the perfect layering piece for me, and I love wearing them on their own as well. If you’re ever looking for links to what I’m wearing I’ve finally created an LTK account where you can shop my outfits I’m sharing over on Instagram, so please do follow me over there!
In the colder months I am drawn to the layers and playing with textures and proportions, and where I feel a lot of the interest in my outfits come from colour and print in spring/summer, by the time the season changes I want that interest to be a bit more subtle and unexpected.
I’ve been saving a lot from brands like Aligne (I need this Gabriella Midi Dress!), Me + Em, Jigsaw, Cos, Arket and Massimo Dutti. I absolutely loathe the quiet luxury trend which is essentially minimalism to me, but feels icky? The connotations are just not what aligns with me at all, this idea of wealth whether it is perceived or actualised.
I saved a TikTok of Victoria Paris saying that “quiet luxury” is synonymous with white, where she articulated perfectly why this phrase bothers me and just the amount of content that exists based around this concept because “only white people get to be quiet about their accomplishments” and I had to nod along in agreement.
But I think the change in my thinking is ultimately about a desire for a simpler life. My relationship to my clothes is changing and the desire to have less and be more intentional is getting stronger by the day.
I just don’t want my clothes to feel boring and I haven’t quite grasped it yet, so watch this space!
💄 BEAUTY/SKINCARE/HAIRCARE:
As always with me, my “beauty routine” as such has been simple. I never like to feel like I’m doing too much or there are too many steps to follow with skincare, haircare or with makeup. There’s lots of fun to be had but I only have one head of hair, one face, etc.
I’m excited that Glossier is launching their Stretch Fluid Foundation! I’ve always been a fan of the Stretch Concealer and used to mix two of their shades together. I’ve also watched so many Katie Jane Hughes tutorials where she essentially uses the concealer as her foundation and it looks so damn good. The Stretch Concealer shade range is also expanding to 32 colours finally, which is brilliant. It’s such a comfortable and easy to wear formulation, it doesn’t dry down and flake which is perfect.
Thank you so much for reading as always and be sure to come back again next week for another little essay from me.
About me: I'm Nicole, the writer of The Noteworthy. I’m also a content creator and the co-host of the award-winning Mixed Up podcast. Having been chronically online since the age of 13, you can also find me on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and Pinterest. I’m working on my first book, The Half Of It, which you can pre-order here.