The Noteworthy Edit #10: does it all come back to our parents approval?
My week in links - the gut-wrenching, the nostalgic, the gorgeous!
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This week has been a bit of a struggle for me. A combination of the drag of January - this relentless cold, grey sky and tumultuous weather, my mood has been a reflection of that.
Every time I feel as though I’ve reached a stable ground with it and with my self-esteem, or feeling like I’ve regained a bit of balance, something comes to swipe me at my knee and I’m back at square one trying to build myself up again. Despite knowing this is how things are meant to go - the ups and the downs, the good alongside the bad - doesn’t make it any less exhausting to put up with.
An emotion that’s coming up a lot for me lately is anger, but I think I’ll explore that a bit more in depth next week.
📖 READING:
I finally got a library card after so many years which is going to be amazing for my bank account but not-so-great for my TBR pile which continues to pile up. I suppose these are all good problems to have. Right now I’m in them middle of reading Safiya Sinclair’s memoir, How To Say Babylon: A Jamaican Memoir.
It’s about her childhood in Jamaica growing up in her Rastafarian household. There is a lot I didn’t know about Rastafarianism so I feel like I’m learning a lot. The prose is absolutely gorgeous, I’m usually a relatively fast reader but Safiya’s writing style has me savouring each sentence. I’m just under halfway through but I feel very connected to it despite her life experience being so vastly different to mine. There is something about parental acceptance and pride in this as well that I can wholly relate to.
🎧 LISTENING:
After falling down the rabbit hole of PerfumeTok and becoming obsessed with Scout Dixon West’s recommendations (and voice, and overall badassery), I came to find that she also has a band called Low Pony that I am all about, in particular, the song “Jones” that has me nostalgic for an Americana era that I never existed in but long to be dropped into.
If you like Ethel Cain, Jesse Sykes & the Sweet Hereafter and Karen Elson, then I think you’ll be into this.
🎥 WATCHING:
I came home after watching All Of Us Strangers on Friday night and had to crawl into the safety of my bed and sit in silence for a bit.
Firstly, I’ll say if you’re grieving a loss of a loved one definitely approach this film with care. I lost my aunt and my cousin about three years ago and this was gut-wrenching to watch. I wished that I was home alone watching it as opposed to being sat in a cinema full of strangers, but despite that, I was still glad I went to see it.
The film follows Adam who has an encounter with his neighbour Harry that seems to mark a turning point in his life. As they start to see each other, Adam continues to visit his childhood home where he finds his parents living as they were almost 30 years ago when they passed away.
There’s a scene where Adam is telling Harry about how his parents died and all of the events that followed from his childhood, how he felt. And Harry tells him, “I know what it’s like to stop caring about yourself.”
It’s nostalgic, it’s lonely, it’s heartbreaking - it made me think about how much we ultimately want our parents to be proud of us. How much we crave their acceptance, love, and approval. Even as an adult, I can’t bear disappointing mine.
This seems to be coming up a lot in the things I’m consuming…spooky!
👗 WEARING:
I’ve been in a major rut when it comes to my clothes, more often than not I’m working from home behind my laptop so haven’t felt too inspired to change out of my sweats. My WFH uniform is forever the Beyond Nine Jenny trousers and Hugh jumper (they’re a set but sold separately). They come in a variety of colours and are the softest, comfiest sweat set imaginable.
I recently shelled out on the Hayley Menzies Leopardess cotton merino bomber jacket - she was in the sale but still spenny, ultimately I justified it because I own nothing else like it and it just felt like me in a jacket. I’ve bought and returned so many pieces over the last year because I was hopping on a trend or feeling like a garment was something that a woman like me should wear. But we’re coming back to ourselves!
I’m eyeing up the stunning Mary Benson’s Demelza dress in lilac brushed tartan, which very much feels like me in a dress. Mary’s work is incredible (her sizes run from 4-30!) and her dresses are some of my all-time favourite pieces that I own.
About me: I'm Nicole, the writer of The Noteworthy. I’m also a content creator and the co-host of the award-winning Mixed Up podcast. Having been chronically online since the age of 13, you can also find me on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and Pinterest. I’m working on my first book, The Half Of It, which you can pre-order here.